


The Misadventures of Wade and May

by theycallmesuperboy



Series: Daddies' little girl [3]
Category: Deadpool (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Young Avengers
Genre: F/M, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-08
Updated: 2012-06-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 07:58:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theycallmesuperboy/pseuds/theycallmesuperboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some of what happens when May is with her father Wade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Misadventures of Wade and May

**Author's Note:**

> Um okay yeah this sucks, but whatever, you guys seem to like it!
> 
> Okay, so like, the BEST THING EVER happened about two months ago: Lafaiette commissioned this gorgeous piece of art work: http://captaindick.deviantart.com/art/Superhero-family-361834934?q=gallery%3Acaptaindick&qo=0 based on these fics. This is the picture in the frame at the end of the fic :)

May talked about her parents constantly- and who could blame her? They were her heroes! And not just anyone could say that and mean it in more than one way! She talked about them with anyone who would listen- mostly her ‘family’, because she wasn’t supposed to tell anyone who didn’t already know they were superheroes- but also her babysitters, the members of the Young Avengers. But it was okay to talk to them- they were superheroes too.

When she was eight, May was fed up with one of her classmates at school. He always thought he was so much better than the rest of the class, all because his dad was the owner of a really big company. The boy’s mother hadn’t wanted her son to go to private school, however, so much to May’s dismay, he attended her public school. 

“And then he-”

“Be quiet!”

“No!” he glared at her.

“I don’t want to hear about your dad!” she shouted.

“My dad is cool!” he yelled back at her.

“My dads are cooler!”

“And what exactly do _they_ do?!”

“My dad is Deadpool!” she told him angrily, placing her hands on her hips.

“No way! The one with the messed up face, or the scrawny one? Yeah right!” 

May was just _so_ angry! She glared at the boy, and then punched him. His eyes started to water as he clutched his cheek, and sank down into the playground’s sand, and started crying. She crossed her arms over her chest and let out a huff. Twenty minutes later, she found herself scowling on the bench in front of the principal’s office. She’d gotten a ‘not hitting people just because they didn’t agree with you’ lecture, and was awaiting one of her parents to pick her up. 

“Mayday!” Wade said as he saw his daughter sitting on the bench. She pouted, and he crouched, and leaned in close, whispering as he said, “Did ya get him good?”

She nodded, and smirked, “He deserved it!” 

He chuckled, and ruffled her hair, much to her chagrin, then said, “That’s my girl.”

“Just don’t tell dad! He’s gonna be mad!” she said, and then as an after thought, “Carry me on your shoulders!”

“Shouldn’t you be too old for that by now?”

“Never!” she said gleefully, aa she was hoisted onto her her father’s shoulders. 

A few minutes later, Wade spoke, “They say boys are mean to the people they like.”

“No way! He doesn’t like me at all!”

“Hmm... but do you like him?” he asked, grinning, “Ohh, Mayday has a crush! May has a cru-” he sang as he walked through the halls with May on his shoulders, until she put a hand over his mouth.

“I do not!” she protested, “Did you and Dad get along when you guys met?” 

“Nope! Your dad hated me.” 

“No way! Dad loves you!”

“I wonder sometimes...” he mumbled, “How would anyone love me? I’m terrible.”

“Because we do!” she said cheerfully, and kissed the top of her dad’s head.

\--

That same year, Peter and Wade started going out as Spider-man and Deadpool more often again. Their usual babysitters were frequently free that summer, being summer and all, and they didn’t mind watching May. It had been three in the morning, with Billy snoring on the couch, and May in her room, and neither Wade nor Peter had returned yet. Billy didn’t mind- they had told him they probably wouldn’t be back until morning, and he knew how these things went, he was one of them after all. And it kind of helped that his evening was free because he was grounded from any and all superhero activity at the moment, after the ‘Colorado Incident’ as it was now being called in his house... 

Outside the apartment, due to the recent break-ins around the neighborhood, a police car was on patrol, slowly making it’s rounds on their street. It had been an uneventful night, and the two officers in the car were bored as hell. Officer Marks, who was sitting in the passenger seat, was nodding off when a figure in black and red caught his eye. The figure was jumping from roof to roof up ahead of them, heading in their direction, . Marks sat up, and rubbed his eyes, then looked again. With cleared vision, he recognized the figure.

“‘Ay, stop the car.” 

His partner slowed the vehicle, then looked to where his partner was pointing, “Deadpool? The villain guy?”

“Yeah, I think.”

“What’s he doing?”

“I don’t know,” the pair watched as Deadpool finally stopped, only a few apartments down from them, and then climbed onto the fire escape of that building. He looked around, apparently not noticing them, and then lifted the window and climbed in. “Think he’s the thief?” The pair exchanged a look. Marks opened his door to get out while his partner radio’d for backup. 

Deadpool climbed in the kitchen window, stretched, and cracked his joins. It hadn’t been too difficult that night, and he hadn’t gotten any limbs cut off. He could hear the soft hum of the TV from the living room, but didn’t think Billy was still awake. Wade didn’t think Peter was home yet, and thought about waking Billy, but thought Peter would just have let him sleep, so he put his katanas down on the kitchen table, and walked to the living room to turn the television off. 

As soon as he entered the living room, Billy roused and looked up sleepily. Then, suddenly, the two cops burst in the front door. 

“Mr. Wils- OH MY GOD,” Billy jumped, startled. 

“Hands up, Deadpool!”

Wade shrugged, and put his hands up sarcastically. The two cops had their guns pointed at the anti-hero, who just stood there. 

“Dad?” May called from the hallway. She’d been awakened when the officers entered the apartment. Wade turned towards the hallway and narrowed his eyes. 

“Go back to bed,” he called, but May walked into the living room anyway, freezing when she saw the officers standing in the doorway.

The officers, however, thought she stopped for a very different reason. They narrowed their eyes, “What kind of sick bastard are you anyway? Breaking into a house with two kids like this?"

Deadpool sighed, and opened his mouth to speak, but the other officer cut him off, “Sweetheart,” he said gruffly, “Walk over here slowly. We won’t let him hurt you.”

Deadpool crossed his arms. May turned from her father to the officers again, and narrowed her eyes. A determined look settled on her face, and she started walking towards the officers, but stopped in front of her father. She looked them in the eye, and put her hands on her hips, “He’s my _dad._ He’s not going to hurt _me_.”

Deadpool smirked at the men who looked incredibly confused, and reached to his left, where he took a picture of himself, May, and Peter from one day at the park a few weeks before, that he had begrudgingly let Peter take, because he and May had insisted, and he couldn’t say not to one of them, much less the _both_ of them, off the wall, and tossed it to one of the men. He fumbled with catching it, and nearly dropped it, but managed to keep hold of it.

He looked at it, and showed it to the other man, who kept his gun trained on Deadpool, who pulled off his mask. The men looked from an unmasked Deadpool to the picture again, and they let out a collective, “Oh.”

“What- superheroes can’t have families?”

“No- that’s not-”

“What is it then?”

“Uh- Mr. Wilson?”

“What is it, young Billy?” 

“I can kinda do a mind-wipe thing where they won’t remember any of this?”

“That might be a good idea, Billy.”

“Peter! Uh, I mean-”

“It’s okay, as you said, they’re not going to remember this anyway,” Peter said, sitting on the windowsill, dressed in his Spider-man costume, only without the mask. He smiled, and waved to the slack-jawed cops. He hopped down, smirking, and walked over to Wade, where he pulled him into a kiss. 

“Man, Judy is _not_ going to believe this. Spider-man is married to _Deadpool_ , and they have a kid!”

“ _Judy_ won’t ever hear about it,” said Billy, who’s eyes started to glow, as he started to chant the spell. 

**Author's Note:**

> As some of you may have noticed (okay I doubt any of you did, or if you did, cared) in the first fic Peter and Wade weren't married. But in this one, they are. That's because they got married when May was four, which was a year after they adopted her.


End file.
